Tuesday, April 22, 2008

PSATs: Mark Foley.

Mark Foley's scandal is pretty classic. It features all the great hallmarks of a good sex scandal. Sex, intrigue, authority figures, pictures of sixteen-year-olds erect appendages! Essentially, all the things America needs to protect. Because if we don't, the terrorists win.

Mark "PageText" Foley http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Foley

But, on the serious, Foley is kinda romantic with his messages.

"how my favorite young stud doing"? Somebody is smooth.

"did you spank it this weekend yourself" Ooh, Mr. Foley! You're making us blush!

"well I have a totally stiff wood now" Congrats.

"Do I make you little horny?" Little is the correct term.

As chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children, Marky Mark introduced legislation targeting online sexual predators. As he explained to an NPR interviewer in 2002, "Where I have to draw the line is using children for the excitement of those more mature people who should know the difference and know better."

Ok, we do have to defend him on this. It wasn't pedophilia. Those boys were definitely post pubescent and hot!!! Can you blame a guy for trying? According to the United States House Committee on Standards of Official Conduct, you can.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Alexander Hamilton Factoid.

He survived his fatal bullet wound for 31 hours afterwards his duel.

Alexander Hamilton

Chuck Norris wish he could beat that.

Mr Norris

HOT: Brian Williams.

In a world where Anderson Cooper is ambiguous, Dan Rather lies, and Katie Couric just plain sucks, there are only three people we can count on:

Keith Olbermann, Jon Stewart, and our current hottie of the week:

Brian Williams

Oh, take off your wedding ring and take us in your kinda freakishly big hands.

hoodgangsta brian williams

He delivers excellent pwn-age.

Essentially, he's a pimp.


But he's good with furry puppets.


Monday, April 14, 2008

Manic Depressive Mondays

This post will go without photos, for if you have not already made a photo album in your mind for the following TV shows, then...go fight a duel. And lose it. And die. But less heroically that our dear Xander Hamilton.

(T)AHP abhors television stations.

Ah yes, they do bring some enjoyable programming; however, for them the TV shows aren't mere facets of entertainment, but lucrative deals to create moolah for the honchos as 30 Rock (not to be confused with Tina Fey's delightful sitcom.)

These stations are the man. They are the man who cancels your favorite show midway through its sixth season. They are the man who creates spin-offs that ruin the originals, but still make money. These are the man that decides to have the Fonz literally jump a shark, starting a trend of horrible plot lines that ruin incredible TV. These are the men that hog the Golden Globes, SAG Awards, and Emmys for their own shows, while denying little shows the limelight.

Here are three examples:

The Gilmore Girls. While it is true that the show-stopping team of Amy Sherman-Palladino and husband Daniel Palladino created a wonderful show, they were lured by the man into the land of Jezabel. And primetime. And non-CW/WB/UPN networks. And killed a great plot line. Lorelai had something with Luke, Rory was not lovelorn, and everything was filled with the witty banter of Sookie and Stars Hollow gang. But when the man got full control of the show, he turned it into a glorified OC. Where's the Kirk?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Joss Whedon makes masterpiece. Masterpiece gets tiring for programmers. The man creates a final season, and a spin-off, and bites the neck of a great TV show--(if you think of it Angel is the living dead Buffy.)

And finally, Project Runway.

If Lifetime and the Weinsteins ruin this Bravo-licious show (regardless of the fact that Top Design and Shear Genius were bad), there will be hell and yards of chiffon to pay.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Hamilton day.

Hooray for Alexander Hamilton!

Anyone who's anyone knows that Alexander was born on January 11, but the year of his birth is somewhat uncertain. Most historians now use January 11, 1755 as the date of his birth, although disagreement remains.

Oooh, child.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

HOT: John Krasinski

Our dearest John Krasinski,


We loved you on The Office as the adorable Jim Halpart. We kinda get the warm fuzzies when you look at Pam in that way that just seems like you would do anything to make her smile.

But we just like this:


We would knit him tons of scarves.


and we can forgive the fact that he's a Red Sox fan and we're totally Yankees.


He supports our theory that Brown University has all the hot boys (class of '02)! And he has a degree in playwrighting. (Fun fact about your bloggers: we once co-wrote a play about dead gerbils. Future post? Comment if you want it.) Nevermind. Brown boys are hot. And mature.


We really like the curve of his nose.


And the curve of his...other...things.


We're sleazy. You love it.

He's cute. You love it.


Love Always,

The Alexander Hamilton Project



we could not get this to embed anywhere, but see this: