Tuesday, March 25, 2008

And God said, "Let there be Alexander Hamilton Project"

Well, it seems you've stumbled upon the Alexander Hamilton Project. We are an organization dedicated to the preservation of one of nation's forefathers and what we imagine to be his final words.

Our sole purpose- besides making fun of everything and anything we want to- is to collect 10 dollar bills and put words, quite literally, in Alexander Hamilton's mouth. Something to the effect of, "Not cool, Aaron Burr. Not cool." or "Your birth mother, Aaron Burr. Your birth mother." or, "Who's governor now, bitch?"or "I was shot in a duel, and all I got put on was this lousy ten dollar bill."

If you find one of these in circulation, hopefully it came from one of us and our fellow federalists. If not, then I beg of you, Put that ten dollar bill down. It may be a horcrux talking to you. Feel free to pick up a felt-tipped pen and write a pseudo-witty saying of your own. If you send it to us (at alexanderhamiltonproject@gmail.com), it may get put on our blog! If you also send a self-addressed stamped envelope with the ten dollar bill, and 26.5 reasons why we should return it, we may! Anything higher than that will cause you to go bust. It's one The Alexander Hamilton Project's many similarities to blackjack. Besides early American political scandals, the members of (T)AHP enjoy, as a collective:

The wisdom of Tyra Banks
Babysitters' Club books
Project Runway/blonde-haired German models
New York (both the person and place)
Wade Handy
Crocheting to a lesser extent
Michael Cera
Jennifer Hudson/Emma Thompson
Speaking in gibberish/ high-pitched voices
The Film Experience (website/blog)
Dead gerbils
Watching bad TV/movies/videos/people
And, most of all, you!

(in case you haven't guessed, (T)AHP is comprised of ladies and gay men)

(T)AHP is what we might call "Fierce." (If anyone out there is transsexual, and joins our journey, then we will achieve the heights of Tranny Fierce. Until then, we're just hot messes. And that's why we need your help.

The most important thing is to read us. We are very insecure people who need love and praise and comments and laughs. Something along the lines of, "Oh (T)AHP! You're wonderful!" or perhaps "first!"

Then, if you're really loyal, start writing on your own dollar bills. The Alexander Hamilton Project also welcomes The George Washington Project, or The Ulysses S. Grant Project. For our Canadian friends, The Queen Elizabeth Project

So, check back, because we're not, like most people, "all about the Benjamins." We roll with Hamilton.