Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Hottie Of The week Wednesday: Joel Stein
Hottie Of The week: Joel Stein
Welcome to the precedent for our “HOT” segment. Did you know Alexander Hamilton set the precedent for the Secretary of Treasury? Good lord, I hope you did.
Now, whom have we deemed worthy of copulation? Joel Stein. He, the hottie of Time Magazine, whose columns often draw the angriest letters. He, the hottie who actually takes up space in well-respected publications talking about his own insecurities and the first time he got high. He, the hottie who could get away with a mullet in his teens.
You might have seen him as a talking head on VH1’s I Love the 80s, or 90s, or whatever else VH1 tells him to love. Perhaps you caught his episode of Bill Maher- it’s the same one where Mr. Maher gets heckled. After Bill (another future hottie of the week) physically kicks the detractor out, our witty object of lust simply says:
“Its OK, I only brought one guest.”
Continuing in his grand adorable quest, when another heckler pops up, Joel Stein quips:
“That one’s not mine.”
See why we’re in love? And here’s another picture of this fine hunka-hunka man. Look, he likes babies!
And here’s where it gets better.
Joel Stein once had his own TV show, ‘Hey Joel.’ That was animated. Where he interviewed celebrities. That’s theme song was sung by the amazing band, Fountains of Wayne. And it only aired in Canada.
Here is a portion of our favorite piece by him, in which Joel eats a pot brownie. You’re welcome.
Coming Clean About My Drug History
I can’t wait to get into harder drugs. it used to be when I saw those ads where the guy talks about how heroin made him not care about his family, food or sex, I was sad. Now all I can think is, “How have I allowed myself to be fooled by this mirage of family, food and sex? Hook me up with some of that juicy heroin goodness!”
Until last weekend I had never tried any illegal drugs. This was a source of embarrassment, knowing that people I considered far less cool than I, people who were my parents, had at least smoked pot. So when I found out that George W. Bush, a man who likes only the Beatles albums that came before Sergeant Pepper, had hinted that he’d done drugs, I knew I had to loosen up. Bush said he hadn’t done any drugs since at least 15 years before his father’s Inauguration, which means he couldn’t have been older than 28 when he last got experienced. That’s how old I am. If I ever hoped to run for office, this was my last chance.
Fortuitously, I had lent my apartment in New York to my friend Lani, who has access to a garden in California. Aware of my Clintonesque refusal to inhale anything, Lani has been offering to make me pot brownies since high school. When I returned to my apartment, there was a thank-you note and a baked good.
Getting stoned wasn’t that exciting. Sure, I felt a little tougher, picturing myself with long hair, skipping classes, listening to Rush and slamming fudge-nut brownies, but the main thing I felt was confusion. I had defined myself as the guy who never used pot, and now I didn’t have that lazy sense of identity. But I’m not nervous about spiraling into harder drugs, wandering through Tompkins Square Park jonesing for a fix. Not unless there’s a pusher with a good recipe for cocaine Rice Krispies Treats.
You can read more of his fun, fun stuff at www.thejoelstein.com.
Also, here are the lyrics for ‘Hey Joel’ by Fountains of Wayne.
This is a show about a Jewish guy named Joel stein
In real life he writes for a magazine called time
But now he has his own cartoon show on VH1
In which he works for a TV show, a made-up one
But even though the show has a standard sitcom feel
All the interviews of famous people are for real
Joel likes to ask ‘em questions that’ll make ‘em squirm
Sometimes he gets punched out
Joel never learns
What do ya know?
Ya got your own show
Try not to blow it
‘Cause if you’re not funny then you’ll soon be gone
And they can fill the time with more Lenny Kravitz songs
Then you’ll be in obscurity where you belong